Monday, January 3, 2011

Romance in the new Year

Its the new year and what better way to start by reading a book. I somehow hibernated from reading during the yuletide season and focused on being with the family bonding and doing shit with the boys. So, to jump start my reading again, I got hold of a book from my mother's book pile and just started reading and reading and reading and saw the title after intense reading about a man who wants to hire an assistant to take care of his shit and stuff while he works hard for the money. hold your breath....the title, motherfuckers, is "The Bachelor's Stand-in Wife" by Susan Crosby, a writer who is sure to please, according to the cover of her book. It gloriously proclaim that it is a special edition book and is included in the Wife-for-hire series of Silhouette.

I checked out the blurb and found this:

Tycoon David Falcon needed a wife.

Not someone to actually marry, but a superefficient, multitasking woman who'd keep his household humming along smoothly. Single mother Valerie Sinclair seemed the ideal candidate. Until an evening out led to an unexpected kiss.

Organizing the businessman's hectic life was one thing. Wanting to share his life wasn't part of the deal. But once Valerie got a taste of being David's girlfriend - even for just one night - how could she go back to being his stand-in spouse?

Valerie Sinclair got the job and did her best to give her daughter a sense of stability in their otherwise free-flowing not so stable life (I get it that if you are not financially capable of maintaining some caprice in life, then life is indeed shit). David Falcon is sleek and sensible and responsible and good. A clean, rich man whose penis was even described briefly when he went skinny dipping in his pool while Valerie was peeping from her bathroom. But for the record, Valerie's boobs was also described as normal, not big nor small and can perfectly fit David's hand (from David's own measure when checking out Valerie from afar, before they screwed each other).

She worked perfect and even her daughter Hannah loved to stay in the place. Valerie's strong stance to deal with her problems by herself sent conflicting message to David who she loved but was afraid to show because of her past experience having screwed her mother's boss' son and was treated shabbily when she got pregnant. David was also afraid of committing because of his past experience when his parents divorced.

But a good fuck can make the world go round. The sexual tension between them was consummated when the man inserted his penis to the woman's vagina and they kissed. They did it (clap your hand motherfuckers! clap! clap! clap! But what is the sound of one hand clapping?) but initially relegated it as an act of two perfectly healthy individuals who wants to let go off some steam. But David the man did not sleep well one night and was enlightened by the fact that he really loved Valerie, his personal assistant (whom he already screwed a couple of times) and said that he wants to marry the woman. So he had some landscaping done in the garden as a sign of his love and they told Valerie's daughter that they will get married. That is all I remember. It is a love story from Silhouette. It is like Sweet Valley High, only the lead woman is not a virgin anymore because she already gave birth and they describe the sexual organs and shit in the book.

It is romantic. You can read it if you want.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

this is not a book by norman

Mondo manila is one motherfucker film peeps in their wtf minds should not miss.

The characters were memorable and funny and nakasusulasok. Pato fucker, Tony Baby Jesus, the pole bean pregnant fucker Pablong Shoeshine (Palito), the pimp midget who does a mean breakdancing shit, and Baby Jesus' young brother who reminded me of my sons who are prone to abuses of the world. Preggy Maria was kalibog-libog in her sex scene with Palito while Whitney Tyson really brought crassness to new heights. It is very colorfully dark with the violence and grime mixed with the 'Looban' peeps. The film is just like the community where I live. I could be any of the freaks in the film trying to make life more livable.

The film finally gave me that push to read the mondomanila book of Norman Wilwayco. According to press releases, the film is a post modern version of 'Maynila sa mga kuko ng Liwanag' by Edgardo Reyes but is an adaptation of wilwayco's palanca winning book of the same title but is not a faithful adaptation of the book.


One thing that struck me though that is not even connected with the mondo film while watching the MFMF was that repetitive tag of 'this is not a film by khavn', 'this is not a film by khavn', 'this is not a film by khavn.' Big bold letters spelling out that tag that can somehow drive you sane after watching a film that was supposed to make you crazy. 'Death of the film' (pareho kaya ito sa ibig sabihin nung Barthes na Death of the author?) was mentioned during the opening of the MFMF but the hypnotic repetitive nametag made me sad. Why not fucking write mondomanila as 'this is not a book by iwa', 'this is not a book by iwa', 'this is not a book by iwa?'

This is not a blog by louis, this is not a blog by louis, this is not a blog by louis.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Bragging List



Ive been reading and reading since last month and happy with the stories i've read so far. It's just that I am so lazy writing blogs and shit because I am so lazy doing blogs lately but I am not lazy to read and am devouring books and books. I want to share the titles ive read since October and will try to write something about each of them when I am not lazy anymore.

1. Human Punk by John King
2. Boo
3. The Watermelon King by Daniel Wallace
4. Slam by Lewis Shiner
5. Schooled by Gordon Korman
6. Neva Hafta by Edwardo Jackson
7. Never Mind the Pollacks by Neil Pollack
8. Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn - so cool! digs.
9. Ang mga Kuwentong mga Supot sa Panahon ng Kalibugan - Book and Shite's Breakthrough Award

I am sure I have forgotten a title or two and I hope I remember them so I can add it in my bragging list.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sheryl Crow

Sheryl Crow is heaven on earth. Wala lang. I do not know what to post at this point. But she is heaven on earth, Sheryl Crow. Wala lang.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

+ film, music


I know that there is a proliferation of movie review blogs and shit and there are real damn good reviewers like Rotten Tomatoes. But after watching two films in a row over four bottles of beer, it is apparent that I also like to start watching films and write something about it. So, I am adding in this supposed to be book blog anything about film, music, and things in between because I also like listening to music, and things in between that is why it will be so.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Street-Bound


I borrowed Street-Bound: Manila on Foot by Josefina P. Manahan and it is a refreshing read even though I have done everything except one (that is visit Museo ng Maynila) that she had suggested in the book. I love to walk Manila and its environs and share its glory and gloom to my most intimate friends. I love to embrace Quiapo’s semi-proletarian noise and smell and extol Recto Avenue’s grimy streets and the people, my people, who scraps the grime for survival. I want shaking the calloused hands of the lumpen proletariats hanging out under the LRT station in front of Isetann and checking out their loots from the hoods.

Street-Bound made me miss the fish and the Kois near the Quezon Circle area and suggested that I tread again the Kamuning Road for some new old treasures stashed at the back of the antique and used stores.

you suck


Suck it. I sucked out the book’s marrow laughing at every page of the blood sucking couple’s bloody adventure, till death do they part.

Christopher Moore’s book I normally see in the bestseller shelves of big shot corporate bookstores and not even browse it because it is way too expensive for my taste.  And besides, his titles sound just like any trying hard bohemian writer. I am bollocks for thinking that way. He is actually way too cool that some would compare him with Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins.

You Suck is another way of treating the vampire genre applying the craziness of contemporary San Francisco scene and the wackiness of youthful love, and lust, I suppose.

C Thomas Flood is a normal guy from Indiana who tried his luck in San Francisco and found himself in a group of vampire catchers under the influence of a street bum called the Emperor. They captured the 800 year old vampire Elijah and his minion Jody, a foxy sexy red head. Tommy noticed Jody’s sexiness and became her blood donor until she eventually turned him into a vampire, much to his chagrin at first until he discovered his uncanny ability to do supernatural stuff.

An agreement required Jody to leave the area lest she be captured again but got caught in a web of incidents that made You Suck a perfect laugh out loud story. 

Before becoming a vampire, Tommy and the rest of his crew worked in a night shift of a grocery store and played turkey bowling. But upon pouncing on the vampire Elijah, they got hold of his treasures and dividing it among themselves, splurged it in Las Vegas with a blue colored call girl named Blue. They fucking splurged $600,000 on her and needed more when they found out Tommy’s new nature. They then tried to get Tommy’s share of the loot until Blue gave them the idea to capture him as their gift to her blue booty.

Tommy and Jody used their vampire powers to lure an emo gothic girl named Abby Normal to aid them in their escape. Abby, with her vampire imagination running wild, thought of being a crony to powerful centuries old vampire until learning the truth, that they were just bunch of week old victims themselves, opted so stay true to her promise and ensconced the two lover’s undying love in bronze.

It is Abby Normal’s chronicles that has that laugh out loud timbre with the way she looked and imagined things in her nosferatu laden world.

Basta, it’s a fun light vampire comedy read that is worth its greedy corporate price of P625.00.

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